I have what every woman wants. I have someone who I love spending time with, who i love talking to, who i love texting randomly throughout the day. I could write an entire book about all the things i love about him, he is my best friend. And he loves me in a completely different way. he loves everything about me, good and bad. he thinks i'm beautiful on the inside and the out. he sees right through me. he calls me out on everything. he can read me better than most. I have what every woman wants, and I don't want it. what is wrong with me?
I always say how I'm a horrible girlfriend and I'm never getting married and yada yada yada...but none of those excuses apply here. Like I'm super comfortable around him..we can cuddle on the couch, I'll sleep next to him in his bed when i'm drunk of tired and it's totally comfortable. but the second he grabs me to try and kiss me i freak out. like i almost have to tell myself "calm down before you reflexively kick him in the balls"....it just feels, idk, wrong? like way too close?
how could i finally have everything i've said i've wanted....and not?
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